Swiss Chalet Friday, Feb 6 2009 

I’m not even gonna front – I have been slackin’ for a minute on the poutine blog. I have been pretty discouraged as of late and I can’t even remember the last time I had some sweet ‘tine. I have actually been put to the challenge of dishing some weight for poutine related tattoo by the dudes at Five Cents…not really an excuse. I just need to step my game up.

Luckily, I have some people who constantly remind me about how crucial this blog is and, when I fail to preform, take matters into their own hands.

The following is a review of Swiss Chalet‘ s poutine done my the fine chap over at SFSS.

This review is long over due and my procrastination is probably doing the general poutine eating public a huge disservice (because you know, I’m the authority on poutine and my opinion sways the masses like some curd dangling pied piper).  But without tooting my own horn too loud, I do have to say that I’ve probably uncovered the biggest poutine gem in the entire GTA.

Hands down it was the best poutine outside of Ottawa/Gatineau and Quebec region I’ve had.  And while that doesn’t say much, it does at the very least indicate a level of hope that there is good poutine outside said regions.

The fries were bang on (probably one of the most consistent and decent fries you can get anywhere).  The gravy was reminisce of a great gravy from the Gatineau area.  And while faced with an inherent cheese curd handicap, it measured up in spite of any regional short comings.

Simply put, it was fucking on fire.

So where is this gold mine of a poutine shop?  Where is this hidden gem that will have foodies flocking in like starving buzzards and will get any Montreal ex-pat overwrought with excitement?  Well my friends, look no further than your local Swiss Chalet.

That’s right.  I said it.

Mothetfucking Swiss Chalet.

Who knew?  I surely didn’t.

But when I saw Poutine Special on the menu I immediately had to try it.  And upon the prodding of the waitress who said it was really really good, I kinda had to see if it measured up.  If not to experience a good poutine in Toronto but to call bullshit on a waitress who obviously has a short yardstick for this type of fare.

Well fuck me up the arse with a belgian fry.  How surprised was I when the dish finally arrived at our table.

Now it wasn’t the best poutine I’ve ever had, but that’s an improbable task.  It’s like trying to find the best sushi outside of Japan, or the best gruyere outside of France.  Shit’s just not happening.  But for a chain restaurant and one that’s located in the GTA at that, It kind of reigns supreme.  It’s like the executive kitchen staff at Swiss Chalet said “fuck deese blockhead maudites.  We’re going to show dem a ting or two hahbout le poutine!”  And boy did they ever.

Seriously, fuck your Smokes Poutinery or your JKWB pulled pork poutine or Cafe Du Lac foie gras poutine.  If you want to taste the closest thing to a traditional, Quebec style poutine, you need to head to Swiss Chalet.  That’s right.  I just said it.

Poutine Party Monday, Sep 22 2008 

Saturday, I headed over to a friend’s place to create a concoction that has been talked about for weeks. Phenomenal home-made poutine -.a pulled-pork poutine no less. It’s Monday afternoon and I’m in still in awe.


It all started Saturday morning with a true barbeque enthusiast, powering this beast up:



For more info on the actual barbequing, please visit his blog; Swine Flavored Smoke Signals.


By the time I showed up most of the Yukon Gold potatoes were cut and soaking and I got there just in time to get the oil (three bricks of lard and a bottle of peanut oil) going. Without a deep fryer, we threw this bitch on his smaller propane bbq.  






Once nice and golden brown we gave them a pat down and salted them like crazy – when the other dudes weren’t looking I was salting the fuck out of these things! SO GOOD!


While the fries were being tended to by yours truly, and the SFSS pulling his pork we had our third musketeer manning the gravy train. A mish mash between two different types of gravy, freshly ground pepper, sugar and some pork drippings, the conductor concocted a mind blowing smokey gravy! CHOO CHOO!


Everything had to be on point like we were architects and once everything was good to go, the building started…



ST. ALBERT’S CHEESE CURDS – the Don P of cheese curds. Hands down my favorite with La Trappe de Fromage in Gatineau with a close-ish second. Sadly, I did not find any English info to link you guys for La Trappe.  





I guess I should review this, huh?!



This is obviously not your traditional Quebecois poutine; thanks to the pork and the gravy style. Regardless, this was so amazingly delicious! The fries were phenomenal, the gravy was glorious and most importantly we had cheese curds. The curds, however, I wish were squeaky, but I got them on my last trip to Ottawa and kept them frozen for this occasion. The kept pretty well but obviously lost there squeek in Hoth, if I do say so myself.  


I don’t really know much about the pulled pork – I’m not really one that normally eats meat so I kind of ate around the flesh as much as I could but holy shit! I believe my quote, while chewing was “Man, I don’t normally eat meat at all…cuz I kinda don’t like it…but this…oh man…*shakes a pointing finger at the bbq master while laughing*”


The three of us were so incredibly food high. I would do this again in a heartbeat. So much fun and so delicious. Easily the best poutine I have had so far in this city…wow…Toronto eateries need to step their game up if 3 dudes drinking beer hanging out can destroy their poutines. Real talk.

FRIENDS! Saturday, Aug 23 2008 

So! In my opinion, if you’re reading this, you’re either a fan of food and/or food reviews or you are my friend who enjoys reading your favorite borderline functional alcoholic French Canadian tear apart poutines made by the Anglos who are constantly trying to destroy my culture. Yeah I said it. How serious am I? I’m not telling…


ANYWAYS! Believe it or not, there is an actual purpose to this post; two for my friends have recently started food blogs. A hamburger review blog and a barbeque blog. The dude that runs the barbeque blog is a BBQ master – he may or may not have gotten vegetarians to break veg! It’s also worth noting that the lady who runs the hamburger blog may or may not have a ginourmous hamburger tattoo. If those aren’t credentials, then I don’t know what are.


If you have a moment, take a peak, subscribe, enjoy, whatever.