I’m not even gonna front – I have been slackin’ for a minute on the poutine blog. I have been pretty discouraged as of late and I can’t even remember the last time I had some sweet ‘tine. I have actually been put to the challenge of dishing some weight for poutine related tattoo by the dudes at Five Cents…not really an excuse. I just need to step my game up.

Luckily, I have some people who constantly remind me about how crucial this blog is and, when I fail to preform, take matters into their own hands.

The following is a review of Swiss Chalet‘ s poutine done my the fine chap over at SFSS.

This review is long over due and my procrastination is probably doing the general poutine eating public a huge disservice (because you know, I’m the authority on poutine and my opinion sways the masses like some curd dangling pied piper).  But without tooting my own horn too loud, I do have to say that I’ve probably uncovered the biggest poutine gem in the entire GTA.

Hands down it was the best poutine outside of Ottawa/Gatineau and Quebec region I’ve had.  And while that doesn’t say much, it does at the very least indicate a level of hope that there is good poutine outside said regions.

The fries were bang on (probably one of the most consistent and decent fries you can get anywhere).  The gravy was reminisce of a great gravy from the Gatineau area.  And while faced with an inherent cheese curd handicap, it measured up in spite of any regional short comings.

Simply put, it was fucking on fire.

So where is this gold mine of a poutine shop?  Where is this hidden gem that will have foodies flocking in like starving buzzards and will get any Montreal ex-pat overwrought with excitement?  Well my friends, look no further than your local Swiss Chalet.

That’s right.  I said it.

Mothetfucking Swiss Chalet.

Who knew?  I surely didn’t.

But when I saw Poutine Special on the menu I immediately had to try it.  And upon the prodding of the waitress who said it was really really good, I kinda had to see if it measured up.  If not to experience a good poutine in Toronto but to call bullshit on a waitress who obviously has a short yardstick for this type of fare.

Well fuck me up the arse with a belgian fry.  How surprised was I when the dish finally arrived at our table.

Now it wasn’t the best poutine I’ve ever had, but that’s an improbable task.  It’s like trying to find the best sushi outside of Japan, or the best gruyere outside of France.  Shit’s just not happening.  But for a chain restaurant and one that’s located in the GTA at that, It kind of reigns supreme.  It’s like the executive kitchen staff at Swiss Chalet said “fuck deese blockhead maudites.  We’re going to show dem a ting or two hahbout le poutine!”  And boy did they ever.

Seriously, fuck your Smokes Poutinery or your JKWB pulled pork poutine or Cafe Du Lac foie gras poutine.  If you want to taste the closest thing to a traditional, Quebec style poutine, you need to head to Swiss Chalet.  That’s right.  I just said it.